On being fat and pregnant...


When I got pregnant.. I said that I know I will be fat but this time I will be happy…

Yes, I am super happy that I am finally pregnant… but I guess it’s not that easy to accept the physical changes in our bodies…

I now constantly look at myself in the mirror and observe the changes…. From slight changes to big changes…

I am only on my 3 ½ months… and I know I still have a long way to go… more big changes to come in the near future…

So as you can see, at this early stage, I already have this internal struggle of trying to accept the things that are happening to me…

It is actually okay because I naturally have this optimistic side that I can just look at the mirror and after a while, I can brush off all negative thoughts and accept things.

BUT…

What actually bothers me are the people that tries to rub the obvious…. That I am getting fat and fatter each day… I am very much aware of my fat face and fat nose… long before I got pregnant… actually even before when I was so skinny, people already tease me that I am like a caricature because of my big fat face and fat nose. So I am used to comments like that… but there are other people who adds insult to injury… one person told me that instead of my tummy getting bigger… it’s my face that gets bigger each day. So how rude is that?!

I also receive reminders from people not to eat too much because though I am still at my early stage of my pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight already and I might have problems during delivery…

Yes, I must admit, my appetite increased and that I am always hungry. I actually need to eat at 7 AM, 10 AM, 12 noon, 3 PM, 6 or 7 PM then milk before I sleep… but I just eat small portions… it’s not like I have a platter every time I eat. And the worse part of it is that during my first trimester, I have “vomit days” wherein I just barf everything that I put in my mouth… it’s not actually just morning sickness but all day sickness…

It is only this week that I am noticing that my all day sickness is slowly subsiding… instead of 5 vomit episodes in a day… it has been reduced to 1-2 episodes only… the sad thing is, even before I get to celebrate and enjoy my food… I already got the comment to slow down and not eat too much…

I appreciate the concern of the people but I guess I am just really too sensitive nowadays…

Am I really that big?!

As much as I don’t want to be bothered, I had no choice but to face my fear – the weighing scale… this powerful thing will not lie.. It will either confirm or deny all allegations on my figure…

And so, I stepped on the digital weighing scale…

Lo and behold, I did not gain that much… it is like only 2 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight… and I already got many comments that made me feel that I can now be a next contender to become the biggest loser.

Oh well, I will have my check-up this coming Saturday… if my OB tells me to diet.. then I will follow… if she say that my weight is perfectly normal then I will stay as is… bottomline, I will try not to become bothered on comments and unsolicited advices. I will just try to enjoy and embrace the changes… as long as our baby is healthy… then I will not care on what people might say about me… after all, I will soon become a mother…  my utmost priority and concern should be the welfare of our baby, nothing more, nothing less…

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