Let go and let God part 2



Disclaimer: The first part of this speech was actually taken from a previous post on this blog.

This is my speech no. 10 for Toastmasters. Yahoo! I am now a competent communicator!

======================================================================
Let go and let God. This is the title of my toastmaster’s speech no. 1. It talks about my life, the obstacles that I went through and how I lived by my motto – to just let go and let God.
Now that this is my speech no. 10, I think it is just fitting that I end my toastmaster’s journey with a speech about my new life – a life of a new mother.
Allow me first to share the first instance, a tip of the iceberg, my first pregnancy.
 
Actual photo of my PT
March 2010, I got a pregnancy kit to check if I was positive. I was not expecting anything because I have checked several times and the result was always NEGATIVE... But lo and behold, I saw 2 pink lines on the stick!!! It was around 5:30 AM when I checked and I literally cried. I was overjoyed.

We went to the doctor the next day but we were told to just come back after two weeks. At that time I was only 5 weeks pregnant and it’s too early to see the baby. Those two weeks were filled with joyful anticipation and excitement… I downloaded applications for my iphone for anything related to pregnancy. I even borrowed a book on what to expect during the nine months… I really felt I was pregnant. Though I don’t have the morning sickness, I experienced something really weird… I suddenly dislike Gerard’s cooking… I prefer to eat out or to eat somewhere else… Just the thought of Gerard cooking, makes me feel queasy…

Just a sample of a "blighted ovum" ultrasound
Photo taken from the internet

Oh well, the ultrasound day came, the doctor said that I should not be nervous and honestly, I was not… I was so excited… and then she looked… and all we saw from the monitor was a sac… no sign of the baby…

The doctor said that maybe I am just delayed and we can wait for 2 more weeks… These 2 weeks became weeks of agony instead of excitement… I searched online for similar cases… There I came across of the term – BLIGHTED OVUM. This is also known as “anembryonic pregnancy” which happens when a fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterine wall, but the embryo does not develop. Cells develop to form the pregnancy sac, but not the embryo itself. A high level of chromosome abnormalities usually causes a woman’s body to naturally miscarry.
Upon reading all articles, I became 90% sure that my pregnancy is a case of “blighted ovum”. I cannot explain my emotions at that time… it was too painful… too hard to accept… but then, as I have mentioned, I cannot do anything… I just lifted everything to God. Allow me to share my prayer at that time:
Thank you for the 2 weeks of indescribable happiness. Thank you for letting me feel the extreme joy of seeing two lines in my pregnancy test. Thank you for the 2 weeks of feeling pregnant. Thank you for the hope that a baby is about to grow in my womb. Thank you for the wonderful people who made me feel special... Shared the joy and continued to pray for us. I still would like to thank you for the next two weeks. Whatever the outcome may be... Good or bad... We entrust our lives to you. We may not understand Your plan for us... But we know it is the best...as always, we will just let go and let God.

For the meantime... Allow me to grieve and feel this rollercoaster type of emotions... Allow me to weep and show the sign of weakness... I know I will be okay... I just want to let this out...

After another 2 weeks, as expected… it was confirmed. It was an anembryonic pregnancy. The doctor said that I really became pregnant so it is just normal to weep and grieve for our loss. She said that blighted ovum is a fluke of nature. It happens to anyone and it doesn’t mean that we have problems.

At that time, I have accepted my case. I had my D&C, a procedure to remove the sac, after another week in Makati Med.

After sometime, I was ready to move on. I just had to let go. I was able to recover from our loss. Though my pregnancy lasted for only a short period of time, Gerard and I learned a lot from our experience.
It gave us hope. It made our marriage stronger. As I  let go, I let God took over my life.

Actual Photo of PT (4 weeks and 6 days)

A year later, April 2011, I realized that my period is a few days delayed. We were again hopeful that maybe this is the perfect time, our time to have a baby. I again had my pregnancy test and after a few seconds, I saw two lines. I was happy but of course after the first experience, I controlled my emotions. I have a scheduled business trip to Malaysia the following week and another leisure trip to Singapore 2 weeks after so I was afraid that my trips will be harmful to our baby. But the doctor assured us that if the baby is healthy, my pregnancy will push through. It is as if God is telling us to let go and not be worried about our baby. It is a gentle reminder to us to just let God do His mighty works upon me.  

As soon as we arrive from my trips, we scheduled our first ultrasound.

Actual Ultrasound of Giulia Bernice at 8 weeks


It felt like heaven, I already saw our little baby. She was alive, her heart is beating 161 beats per minute. It was so surreal. We will soon be parents. Thank God for this greatest blessing.
As months passed by, Gerard and I had mixed emotions. We cannot wait to see our little princess. As first time parents, we only want the best for our baby. We did a lot of researches, attended birthing and breastfeeding classes and all other things so that we will be equipped with enough knowledge on child rearing. Of course, we also did a lot of shopping of baby stuff. Gerard even bought our stroller, car seat, infant tub in the US and had it shipped here.
I was still due on the 31st of December but we really hoped that I give birth earlier. True enough, my water bag broke at around 2 am of December 12 and gave birth to a 5.11 lbs cute baby girl at 1:37 PM. Giulia Bernice G. Samson was born.
   
<><>
<><>
Giulia Bernice G. Samson



Giulia at 3 1/2 months
Time really flies so fast. Giulia is now 3 ½ months. Having a baby is truly life changing. It is tough but definitely rewarding.

I know we will encounter humps and bumps along the way as we raise our little princess. But I am confident that we will be able to pull through as long as we have complete trust in God.
And now, as I end my toastmaster’s journey, allow me to use the same ending as I have in my first speech, as always, I will let go and let God.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pan-fried Dory with Lemon Butter Sauce

Image
Here's another recipe of my lovey hubby Gerard. I’m so sorry but we don't have the exact measurements of the ingredients. What you need: Cream Dory fish or any white fish fillet Salt Pepper Magic Sarap Dried basil leaves Flour Lemon juice or calamansi juice Butter Olive Oil Fresh parsley for garnishing What to do:   Make sure your fish fillet is thawed (if using frozen) and the skin surface is dry. You can use a paper towel to dab the fish. Season fish with salt, pepper, magic sarap and dried basil. Note: we used freshly cracked sea salt* and pepper because we think that it gives more flavor. But I guess, normal salt and pepper will do. Magic sarap and dried basil will give an extra flavor and a hint of herb taste. Then brush the seasoned fish with flour. Make sure to put just enough flour. Brush off the excess. In a frying pan, melt the butter together with the olive oil in medium heat. Once brown, fry the fish fillet for 1-2 minutes each ...
Read more

Changing Center of Gravity and My Unexpected Visit to Asian Hospital

Image
Changing center of gravity: The first reason you may be stumbling is obvious—you're getting bigger. As your belly grows outward, your whole center of gravity is thrown. After walking perfectly for years, your body now has to constantly realign itself to keep you upright—no wonder you're tripping. It may seem that this new life inside you has taken over your brain. Be assured, this is not the case. As your belly begins to expand and your baby grows, your center of gravity will begin to shift. While you are pregnant you may notice your balance is a little off, increasing your risk of tripping or mis-stepping. Though your baby-to-be is well cushioned in your belly, falling wouldn’t be good for either of you. You will want to start being more careful when moving about. Here are a few tips: Try not to carry things around with you that if dropped, could harm yourself. Use the handrails when going up or down stairs. Do not wear high heeled shoes, but instead, comfortable shoes tha...
Read more

My labor story

Image
I know my due date is already near that is why we have been preparing for the big event. We prepared her room already. I have made the necessary arrangements at work. I already got the approval to work from home from December 17 onwards or until I give birth. After all my due date is still on the 31 st . I have drafted my birth plan and just for final approval from my OB. There are just some more things to pack in the diaper bag and our own hospital bag. Bottomline, to some extent, we were ready. Though, at the back of my mind, I really want to give birth on December 18. If you ask me why on the 18 th simply because it is my favorite number. But God has really prepared a plan for each one of us. It may not be the same as our plan, but definitely it is the BEST. On my 37 th week, in the early morning of December 12, 2011, I felt something weird inside. It was like a ‘twitch’ in my side. I got up and went to our bathroom. I saw blood in my pee. At that instant, I realized ...
Read more